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Now, I think it's probably because I have to cut back or risk a fatigue crash. Since I can't contribute as much, I want everyone to do less.

Then I won't feel like such a freeloader, benefitting from everyone else's hard work while doing so little myself.

I've not really acknowledged this to myself, let alone talked to others about it.

I thought that if I just stepped back without making a big deal of it, no-one would mind much.