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It's become clear that some people in my family feel that others aren't doing enough to contribute to the big family events.

Some are doing more than their fair share of hosting, cooking, gifting, etc.

As someone with multiple illnesses and permanent fatigue, I gave up long ago on trying to do as much as others. It's been a source of anxiety & discomfort for me.

I wanted everyone to cut way back on this stuff. I don't think I fully understood why it made me uncomfortable.

Now, I think it's probably because I have to cut back or risk a fatigue crash. Since I can't contribute as much, I want everyone to do less.

Then I won't feel like such a freeloader, benefitting from everyone else's hard work while doing so little myself.

I've not really acknowledged this to myself, let alone talked to others about it.

I thought that if I just stepped back without making a big deal of it, no-one would mind much.

Given some things my sister & my stepmum have said recently, I no longer think that's true.

I think there's at least one person in my family, maybe more, who thinks I don't do enough and should do more.

I don't know how to address this without causing drama or making things worse.

I'm trying to think of some material contribution I can make that is unlikely to make a crash worse.

I offered to contribute money but that wasn't well received.

@lookitmychicken they should just stop being dicks BUT my hack is offer to bring cold / prepared foods, buy and decant them into tupperware, theyll never know <_<